The Art of Achieving Daily Peace and Happiness

I was plagued with anxiety before, during, and after I decided to separate and divorce in early 2017. It was as if the person driving, working, living, and caring for my children was not me. My body was moving, but I was not in control. I was present but merely a bystander in Yengyee's life. Modern psychology will call this disassociation, and a Hmong Shaman may say, "nws raug dab" (possessed by an evil spirit) or "nws tus ntsuj plig tsis nyob lawm" (her soul is no longer with her). I would say to some degree both views will be accurate.


I did disassociate, and my spirit was not an active participant in my daily activities. It was how I coped with coming to my decision and the pain within me. It was my survival. If I could separate myself from the pain, my physical body could live. I needed to live on for my children and the mere fact that surviving is the only thing I know to be of dignity. I needed to keep the very last of my pride.


I will not go into the details of overcoming my challenges and living with anxiety as that is in my book, but I want to share how I attained inner peace and happiness and how you can as well. No matter what you are going through, if you work hard on all these three strategies consistently, you will achieve inner peace and happiness.


Step One: Acknowledge yourself.

The first step is the acknowledgment of your present self. This recognition requires complete and utter ruthless honesty. It requires you to look at the good and evil in yourself, your white lies, blatant lies, and the cold hard facts. It is ugly, painful, raw, and it is beautiful, durable, and resilient. It is acknowledging what people say about you that is true. It is your mistakes and your wins. It is not making excuses for any of the parts of you and the factual information that characterizes you.


There are many ways to come to acknowledge yourself. 1) Ask others (friends, family, colleagues, and bosses) for honest feedback about you and your behaviors. 2) The daily practice of self-reflection. What did I do right? What can I improve? How was my reaction? How would I rate today? What would I change about today? 3) Get a personality assessment done by a certified Practitioner.


Step Two: Love Yourself.