Healing a Broken Heart

Everyone at one point or another has experienced heartbreak, whether it is with friends, family, or an intimate partner. A broken heart can feel like the end of the world; an invisible pain felt throughout your being. You lose your appetite or over-indulge. You cannot sleep or sleep too much. You go from being outgoing to closed-off or from closed-off to binge drinking/partying. Your body feels weak, and your look haggard. You develop fears around the heartbreak and methods to protect yourself. Your wall is high, and you are on guard for any red flags. You lose hope, and your ideal image of love dissipates. Some people lose their way through the heartache and allow the experience and pain to decapitate them because healing can seem harder than living in misery.

That is how powerful a heartbreak can be. Everyone has a different reaction, interaction, and response to a broken heart, but no one can escape it, and it will leave scars. No matter what your behavior is with a heartbreak, here are my strategies to help you through any heartbreak and not lose your way.

1. Allow yourself to feel all the emotions.

It is so important that whatever feelings come up that you allow yourself to feel it. It can be anger, shame, resentment, love, sadness, bitterness, desperation, fear, unworthiness, disrespect, loneliness, longing, stupid, happiness, sensual, and used. Permit yourself to feel any or all those feelings. Write down what made you happy, sad, angry, shameful, and missing them. Allow yourself to fantasize about them, especially if you have been intimate with the person. Shaming your desire to want to be with them sexually will only hurt you more. In this phase, it is so important not to judge yourself based on these emotions. Journal about the feelings, talk to someone you trust, or a counselor about the emotions, but like how you would sit with a best friend with no judgment, sit with yourself with no bias and be a great witness to your feelings. In this phase, you want to observe and get good at noticing