Person A: He hasn't texted me back.
Person B: He is cheating on you.
Person A: Maybe he is busy.
Person B: How can he be busy, he was just on!
Person A: That is true. I do see that he read my text 2 minutes ago.
Person B: Told you so! He doesn't really care about you. He is keeping his options open.
Person A: I guess he doesn't really care about me.
Person A and Person B is one person. Our minds are continually chatting, and if you listen long enough, you will convince yourself that your fears are valid. It is very reasonable to have these thoughts. They are thoughts that come from a story we created about a scenario we saw or heard. The scenario above was created because the boyfriend didn't text her back within an amount of time she felt was reasonable and based on stored information from her experiences, knowledge, skepticism, fears, etc. she made up a story that is the worst case scenario for her, which is, her boyfriend cheating on her. We are wired to predict and protect ourselves from painful, harmful, and life-threatening events, so these thoughts appear to be self-protecting but are more harmful than helpful.
It was coming to terms with my enemy; these thoughts that were self-defeating, paralyzing, instigating, and harming that allowed me to live fully in my power. First, it started with the realization that everything involves, started, and ended with me.
Second, once I accepted the fact that I had power over everything that involved me whether I initiated it or others and situations did, I took back my power. I took responsibility for all my emotions, behaviors, actions, and thoughts. I would ask myself questions that will lead me back to me such as:
Is this me and who I want to be?
Am I in alignment (head, heart, and soul/intuition)?
What is my intention? My heart saying?
What can I do about this?
Is this serving me? What will serve me?
What is in my control?
Third, learn to let go, have hope but be present in the moment, and see challenges from a positive growth lens. Once, I started viewing challenges as opportunities to discover myself, my abilities, and my growth, the things life throws at me becomes a means to get me closer to where I need to go. That is it.
Lastly, take action. Use all the steps to train yourself daily to reflect, introspect, and align. What I do is get up every morning and ask myself, what is my intention and attitude for today and then I manage that throughout the whole day. I work on my mental muscle throughout the day. I check with my emotions, my thoughts, my intuition, and my actions. I realign if I feel off by going back to step two and three. Below is what managing myself daily looks like: