Written November 15, 2015:
I was looking through some photos recently and came upon this one of my dad that I edited to make it look like a painting so that it would last forever. I took this photo because I was amazed my dad created his own shortcut while the rest of us didn't even think of deterring from the paved created route and in fact, we were yelling at my dad not to do it. My dad has always been his own person and in many ways this has taught me to be my own person in this world that speaks freedom but encourages conformity.
You have to be comfortable enough in your own skin to show it naked to others and that is not an easy task. Some of us, would probably shy away and want to hide parts of us because it's an area we're embarrassed about or may make us feel ugly or ashamed. Although, it's unnecessary to show everyone all parts of you, it's important for you to be comfortable with who you are even with the things you're not proud of or feel ashamed about.
Creating you is about defining who you are (e.g., your values, morals, goals, interests, dislikes), accepting that you have flaws, knowing that you're still being shaped and truly loving yourself through the process.
Here are some tips on creating you:
Identify your values and morals and determine how your life is aligning to these values and morals. Is it in alignment or does things need to be changed?
Ask yourself if you are living the life you always wanted.
Do you feel happy and satisfied with yourself?
Your feelings can tell you a lot about how satisfied and confident you are in yourself and whether you exhume confidence from within or is it just superficial. Listen to your gut and hopefully the gut is telling you that you are who you are meant to be!
May you love yourself more tomorrow than today!
As I re-read this post I wrote 3 years ago, everything I wrote still rings true. The one thing I would add is creating happiness for yourself isn't easy. Sometimes it takes breaking all the pieces of your puzzle down and seeing what fits and what does not. It's giving yourself permission and allowing yourself to grow. It is also letting go of things no longer meant for you or serving you.
Why do you hold so firm to beliefs and perspectives that holds you back? What makes it so hard to be who you want to be? What scares you about being you? What do you need to let go of in order to step into your truth. You have to answer these question for yourself. After I went through my divorce, I realized that there were some beliefs and perspectives that I held on to like burning coal. I got burnt badly. In the mists of breaking apart, I found happiness that I could finally put myself together the way I wanted to be.
The thing is it's okay that you did not know what you wanted or who you were or who you want to be until you knew it. It's okay for you to be happy. It's okay to create the you that you really want to me despite what anyone thinks or wants you to be. Just do not live it being who you are not. To me, the greatest misery in life is living in the shadow of who you want to be.